Last night, we got out all the Christmas stuff, decorated the tree, and proceeded with what has become the annual reading of Andy's journal entries for Christmases beginning in 2004, which was apparently the year he turned into his father and began recording the details of our thrilling daily lives. Seriously, he could tell you what we ate for dinner for the past five years.
What I always find fascinating about his journal is that it contains a buzillion facts that I forgot five minutes after they happened, but not a single feeling. My journal (if I were disciplined enough to actually keep one) would be filled with memories of joyful moments and hurt feelings. But it would absolutely not occur to me to record what I made for dinner, unless it was this amazing gourmet meal, which has happened maybe twice the entire 15 years we've been married.
But I will tell you one thing: Andy writes every day. He is naturally disciplined in that respect. He has always had goals and ambition, the creativity to make a plan, and the discipline to follow it. And I love that about him.
So today, I'd like to choose just one thing that I can do every day between now and Christmas, in the hopes that it becomes such a part of my routine that I do it every day without a lot of effort. I'm making a commitment to exercise 30 mins. every day. It might just be walking in the neighborhood with the kids, but I'm going to do it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
My dirty little secret
I have lots to do today. I'm not even going to bother with a list because who really reads that stuff anyway?
I did manage to get quite a bit done yesterday, despite the fact that one of my friends is in the biggest emotional crisis of her life and I've spent a lot of energy worrying about her and on the phone with her. They are definite Mary moments, and I feel perfectly at peace with the fact that my kitchen floor is STILL dirty because PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS (things being chores and stuff, in this case).
Disclaimer: Mom, if you are reading this, please stop now. I'm about to say something that could change your life, but stop now because you will never be able to look me in the eye again.
One area I've learned to balance Martha and Mary pretty well is with my husband. I know that if I cook 4-5 times per week, make a pie every so often, and spend money only on what is reasonable, then he's pretty happy with the Martha Amy. But he also really loves that I arrange the babysitters and get all prettied-up to spend an evening just hanging on his arm and talking to him, and listening to him. If you'd have told me that first year of marriage that we would get along this well, I'd have laughed at you.
Over the past week or so, I have had more conversations about what a healthy marital sex life looks like than ever in my life. I'm beginning to feel like Dr. Ruth. My marriage is better right now than it has ever been. Andy and I still fight on occasion, but we adore each other. I never would have dreamed marriage could be this good. So I'm going to tell you my secret. The secret that I firmly believe began this incredible high our marriage is on. Are you ready?
Each man on earth, no matter how hard he tries to avoid it, has a catalogue of images in his head of scantily-clad women. Even the man who has worked hard to keep his mind pure has this catalogue. It might consist of the Victoria's Secret ad he sees as he walks with his wife through the mall. Or of the secretary at work who bent over to pick up something she dropped, unaware that he can see straight down her top. And those are just the men who work hard at it. Everybody knows this, right?
And I think that, deep down, we all know my little secret, too. But it has shocked me how many people have reacted with an "aha" moment to this one little thing. So here goes:
My mission, as a wife who loves her husband and wants this marriage to be rock solid, is to have as many images in that catalogue of myself as possible. When he is away on business, I want him to be able to recall images of ME, and I want him to be dying to come home to me.
There it is. Some of you are saying, "Huh? That's it? That's all you got?"
But some of you are thinking, "Holy cow! Why didn't I think of that? I'm running to the mall to buy myself something pretty right now."
Yes, my body will never be Vic's-runway-ready. But believe me when I tell you that he doesn't care.
Ask him what his fantasy is, and then BE that. If only for one night. With the lights on. He will NEVER forget it.
I did manage to get quite a bit done yesterday, despite the fact that one of my friends is in the biggest emotional crisis of her life and I've spent a lot of energy worrying about her and on the phone with her. They are definite Mary moments, and I feel perfectly at peace with the fact that my kitchen floor is STILL dirty because PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THINGS (things being chores and stuff, in this case).
Disclaimer: Mom, if you are reading this, please stop now. I'm about to say something that could change your life, but stop now because you will never be able to look me in the eye again.
One area I've learned to balance Martha and Mary pretty well is with my husband. I know that if I cook 4-5 times per week, make a pie every so often, and spend money only on what is reasonable, then he's pretty happy with the Martha Amy. But he also really loves that I arrange the babysitters and get all prettied-up to spend an evening just hanging on his arm and talking to him, and listening to him. If you'd have told me that first year of marriage that we would get along this well, I'd have laughed at you.
Over the past week or so, I have had more conversations about what a healthy marital sex life looks like than ever in my life. I'm beginning to feel like Dr. Ruth. My marriage is better right now than it has ever been. Andy and I still fight on occasion, but we adore each other. I never would have dreamed marriage could be this good. So I'm going to tell you my secret. The secret that I firmly believe began this incredible high our marriage is on. Are you ready?
Each man on earth, no matter how hard he tries to avoid it, has a catalogue of images in his head of scantily-clad women. Even the man who has worked hard to keep his mind pure has this catalogue. It might consist of the Victoria's Secret ad he sees as he walks with his wife through the mall. Or of the secretary at work who bent over to pick up something she dropped, unaware that he can see straight down her top. And those are just the men who work hard at it. Everybody knows this, right?
And I think that, deep down, we all know my little secret, too. But it has shocked me how many people have reacted with an "aha" moment to this one little thing. So here goes:
My mission, as a wife who loves her husband and wants this marriage to be rock solid, is to have as many images in that catalogue of myself as possible. When he is away on business, I want him to be able to recall images of ME, and I want him to be dying to come home to me.
There it is. Some of you are saying, "Huh? That's it? That's all you got?"
But some of you are thinking, "Holy cow! Why didn't I think of that? I'm running to the mall to buy myself something pretty right now."
Yes, my body will never be Vic's-runway-ready. But believe me when I tell you that he doesn't care.
Ask him what his fantasy is, and then BE that. If only for one night. With the lights on. He will NEVER forget it.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thanksgiving madness
Yesterday, I got quite a bit done, but not as much as I wish I had. So today, I have a TON to do.
Here's the deal. When I have a lot of guests, I want to remodel. I want the house to look its best, and I want everything to be perfect. But what I neglect to take into account is that none of these guests care if my home is a showroom. They're here to see each other (and me), not my home. So a little perspective is in order, I guess.
And while T-day will be a big Martha day, I really want to focus on the Mary moments, as well. Some of my guests have never really understood Christ's love for us, and I pray that the Lord uses this day to make an impact on them through me. I'm gearing up to be Jesus to the best of my ability.
But I think that on Friday, I'll skip shopping in favor of sleep.
- Finish cleaning downstairs
- Do the T-day shopping
- Do 2 loads of laundry
- Hem the kitchen window panels
Here's the deal. When I have a lot of guests, I want to remodel. I want the house to look its best, and I want everything to be perfect. But what I neglect to take into account is that none of these guests care if my home is a showroom. They're here to see each other (and me), not my home. So a little perspective is in order, I guess.
And while T-day will be a big Martha day, I really want to focus on the Mary moments, as well. Some of my guests have never really understood Christ's love for us, and I pray that the Lord uses this day to make an impact on them through me. I'm gearing up to be Jesus to the best of my ability.
But I think that on Friday, I'll skip shopping in favor of sleep.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Martha Goals: Day 3
What makes us think that writing something down makes it happen? My to-do lists are always much larger than I can actually do in a single day (or week). When will I learn to make a more realistic list?
Needless to say, I did not finish half (any) of what was on my weekend list. There's still a ton of laundry, and my dining room windows are still bare. Plus, the pics I ordered from mpix aren't here yet, so I guess I'll be hanging them tomorrow.
The good news is that my kitchen breakfast window looks amazing. Even my husband (who actually has an opinion about all things interior - ARGH) loves them. They dress up the whole room, and I'm proud of how gorgeous they are. But they took me FOREVER.
So today's list goes something like this:
3 loads of laundry work out rearrange and clean first floor make full T-day shopping list clean back porch
Needless to say, I did not finish half (any) of what was on my weekend list. There's still a ton of laundry, and my dining room windows are still bare. Plus, the pics I ordered from mpix aren't here yet, so I guess I'll be hanging them tomorrow.
The good news is that my kitchen breakfast window looks amazing. Even my husband (who actually has an opinion about all things interior - ARGH) loves them. They dress up the whole room, and I'm proud of how gorgeous they are. But they took me FOREVER.
So today's list goes something like this:
Saturday, November 21, 2009
God is crying
Today, I am 36.
Today, I officially leave behind the "early thirties". Maybe some of you think I did that last year, but I round down, so 35 still seems young to me.
Last night's date night was amazing, and I am continually amazed at how blessed I am. Great food, but awesome company. I love that Andy loves date night as much as I do. And I love that my kids love it just as much because they get the super-sitters for an evening.
But yesterday, it rained all day. And it made getting out kind of a chore. Andy, forever the funny guy, said, "God is crying because you're turning 36." Very funny.
What I've learned lately is that I'm sure God cries over my choices sometimes. I'm sure He watches me, loving me extravagantly, and wanting me to choose Him. But even in those moments, He rejoices over me.
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
(Zeph. 3:17)
Today, I officially leave behind the "early thirties". Maybe some of you think I did that last year, but I round down, so 35 still seems young to me.
Last night's date night was amazing, and I am continually amazed at how blessed I am. Great food, but awesome company. I love that Andy loves date night as much as I do. And I love that my kids love it just as much because they get the super-sitters for an evening.
But yesterday, it rained all day. And it made getting out kind of a chore. Andy, forever the funny guy, said, "God is crying because you're turning 36." Very funny.
What I've learned lately is that I'm sure God cries over my choices sometimes. I'm sure He watches me, loving me extravagantly, and wanting me to choose Him. But even in those moments, He rejoices over me.
"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
(Zeph. 3:17)
Friday, November 20, 2009
Still in training
Today was pretty much a failure.
I did manage to read my Bible. Did you know that www.biblegateway.com will actually send you daily Bible reading emails, according to which reading plan and translation you select? Too cool.
I got stuck on those darn window panels because I can't seem to make the math work. Tell your kids that math is important, even when you're a SAHM! I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I want the pleats to be just perfect, but the correct formula has, thus far, eluded me.
So because of the project snafu, I'm behind on laundry and I didn't work out. I thought I'd get to work out while the boys slept this afternoon, but they had other plans. I'm beginning to understand why some women enjoy a 5 a.m. workout.
However, I just showered, so at least I smell good.
Tonight is date night. Mason and Jenny, aka the super-sitting couple, aka the parents my kids wish they had, will be here in an hour. I get my handsome husband all to myself, and I get to pick the restaurant. There's nothing I love more than a long, leisurely dinner with food that's better than I could ever prepare on dishes I don't have to do, complemented by a good bottle of wine and a man far more handsome and charming than I deserve.
If you don't have a regular date night with your man, I HIGHLY recommend it. Even if all you can afford is to put the kids to bed early, light a candle and have some mac-n-cheese together, do it. It is a Mary moment not to be missed.
I did manage to read my Bible. Did you know that www.biblegateway.com will actually send you daily Bible reading emails, according to which reading plan and translation you select? Too cool.
I got stuck on those darn window panels because I can't seem to make the math work. Tell your kids that math is important, even when you're a SAHM! I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and I want the pleats to be just perfect, but the correct formula has, thus far, eluded me.
So because of the project snafu, I'm behind on laundry and I didn't work out. I thought I'd get to work out while the boys slept this afternoon, but they had other plans. I'm beginning to understand why some women enjoy a 5 a.m. workout.
However, I just showered, so at least I smell good.
Tonight is date night. Mason and Jenny, aka the super-sitting couple, aka the parents my kids wish they had, will be here in an hour. I get my handsome husband all to myself, and I get to pick the restaurant. There's nothing I love more than a long, leisurely dinner with food that's better than I could ever prepare on dishes I don't have to do, complemented by a good bottle of wine and a man far more handsome and charming than I deserve.
If you don't have a regular date night with your man, I HIGHLY recommend it. Even if all you can afford is to put the kids to bed early, light a candle and have some mac-n-cheese together, do it. It is a Mary moment not to be missed.
Martha Goals: Day 2
- Read Bible
- Finish window panels
- Do 2 loads of laundry
- Clean first floor
- Work out
- Shower (How sad is it that I have to actually put this on the list? Such is the life of a pre-school mom.)
I had originally planned to remodel the fireplace and built-ins on either side of it, but that's clearly too much for the weekend before I host a whole bunch of people in my home for Thanksgiving dinner. Can you say stress?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Every breath is a second chance
All in all, today was a success.
I started the day with Bible reading. And I'm totally digging www.biblegateway.com. I can read any translation of any passage, or I can just go totally topical. It's amazing.
I ate awesome. I ate more veggies today than I have in the past week combined, and I discovered roasted pepper hummus. Yum.
I got a great start on some beautiful pinch-pleat curtains for my breakfast area. As usual, it's taking longer than I estimated, but what else is new? But it's okay because I get to use my MIL's sewing machine, which is practically a robot. It does everything. If it could just make dinner, it would complete me.
The floor did not get vacuumed, mostly because I'm still sewing, and it seems kind of pointless.
I never did work out. I chose to watch The Office and 30 Rock instead. I hear you can exercise while you watch TV, but I've never actually done it (unless you count the cardio-theater at the gym, where I mostly torture myself by watching Fox News). I did, however, fold those two loads of laundry.
I don't have the energy to say anything brilliant tonight. I'm really, really tired. But I do want to share my fave new single line from a song courtesy of the dudes in Switchfoot: "...every breath is a second chance." I have no idea what the rest of the song is about, but that one line caught my attention even through Max screaming for a drink and Brady whining that he didn't get a piece of candy, so I'm thinking God wanted me to hear it.
Too often, I have a bad moment early in the day, so I just give up on the day because it's already ruined. I convince myself that I might as well put off any REAL change until tomorrow. But this one little line made me take stock and re-evaluate that sorry strategy. Because it hasn't been working so well for me anyway. And because my God is the God of second chances, and he hands them out all day long, not just in the morning.
I started the day with Bible reading. And I'm totally digging www.biblegateway.com. I can read any translation of any passage, or I can just go totally topical. It's amazing.
I ate awesome. I ate more veggies today than I have in the past week combined, and I discovered roasted pepper hummus. Yum.
I got a great start on some beautiful pinch-pleat curtains for my breakfast area. As usual, it's taking longer than I estimated, but what else is new? But it's okay because I get to use my MIL's sewing machine, which is practically a robot. It does everything. If it could just make dinner, it would complete me.
The floor did not get vacuumed, mostly because I'm still sewing, and it seems kind of pointless.
I never did work out. I chose to watch The Office and 30 Rock instead. I hear you can exercise while you watch TV, but I've never actually done it (unless you count the cardio-theater at the gym, where I mostly torture myself by watching Fox News). I did, however, fold those two loads of laundry.
I don't have the energy to say anything brilliant tonight. I'm really, really tired. But I do want to share my fave new single line from a song courtesy of the dudes in Switchfoot: "...every breath is a second chance." I have no idea what the rest of the song is about, but that one line caught my attention even through Max screaming for a drink and Brady whining that he didn't get a piece of candy, so I'm thinking God wanted me to hear it.
Too often, I have a bad moment early in the day, so I just give up on the day because it's already ruined. I convince myself that I might as well put off any REAL change until tomorrow. But this one little line made me take stock and re-evaluate that sorry strategy. Because it hasn't been working so well for me anyway. And because my God is the God of second chances, and he hands them out all day long, not just in the morning.
Martha Goals: Day 1
- Read Bible (and yes, I realize this should be a Mary moment, but it still feels kinda Martha to me)
- Clean downstairs toilets
- Vacuum downstairs and stair case
- Do 2 loads of laundry
- Get started making window treatments for dining room and breakfast windows
- Work out
- Avoid sugar
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Accountability
In my imagination, someone reads this blog. At least, there's the possibility that someone will read it. And so the confessions I make and the tidbits I share here matter.
I've been trying to lose the "last 15 pounds" for years two years. Before that, I was pregnant for about two years. And before that, I'd been trying to lose those same pounds for nearly four years. I'd also like to get more organized, be a more intentional and creative mother, read my Bible more, and stay on top of the housework. But I totally lack the discipline to do any of that. I really think the "last 15 pounds" are more a symptom of that lack of discipline than anything. And I hate that more than the pounds themselves.
I grew up in a pretty disciplined household. We got up on time, ate on time, ate healthfully, went to church three times a week, and did chores. My mom was an awesome housekeeper, and my dad did not put up with misbehavior. I was bred to be a stay-at-home-mom, and I was given the tools to do this job well. I should know how to be a more disciplined person, right?
But, oh, how I love the creative. I love to daydream and make imaginary decorating plans and sing every song in my Broadway repertoire. The beauty of my job as a SAHM is that I get to decorate and cook and play dress-up and Legos and sing songs from Wicked with a daughter who loves the music almost as much as I do. I could start off dusting the keyboard in the office and get side-tracked by a piece of music and spend the rest of the afternoon learning it...hypothetically. Or I might be picking up Legos and have this brilliant idea for a ship that looks just like the one on Star Wars and dump out all the pieces I'd just picked up to find a particular piece to finish off said ship. Or I might be in the middle of taking measurements for a particular window treatment, and get this epiphany about how I could actually make the built-ins next to the fireplace work, and spend an hour googling the instructions for the perfect built-in bookcases. Or I might just get so caught up in a song on KLOVE that I can't resist picking up one of the boys to dance (oh, how I love to dance). Not that I've done any of those things today...or ever.
And then if I HAD done any of those crazy things, I would spend the evening kicking myself for not having the discipline to pass up that piece of music or those Legos or Google or the dancing and finish the task I'd started. And then I'll tell myself that I can always dust the office tomorrow.
But tomorrow never comes, and you could probably write your name in the dust of any given piece of furniture in that office.
The thing is that I really love the part of me that loves to dance. I love the part of me that knows how to create and sing and laugh. I want to be that mother that exudes joy and tells jokes and has a contagious spirit.
But I want to do it 15 pounds lighter in a clean house after I've read my Bible for the day.
In short, I want to be perfect.
But I know that, like tomorrow, perfect never comes. So I guess I'll settle for being MORE perfect than I was yesterday.
Recently, a mentor and friend of mine suggested that I divide my time into Martha and Mary moments. What an amazing idea. I really believe that the Martha moments are necessary, but the Mary moments are what life is made of.
So my intention in starting this blog is to begin logging my Martha and Mary moments, and in so doing, have some sort of accountability. I believe that accountability is the key to spiritual growth, so I aim to list here my Martha goals for each day, knowing that when the Martha stuff gets done, the Mary moments are so much sweeter.
I'm asking the Lord to make me more obedient and disciplined. I know, crazy, right? Who asks for stuff like that? Don't we all know how dangerous that is?
But somehow, I just know that even though it's likely to be a little painful, this little discipline dance will be an amazing way that God will mold me into the woman He designed me to be.
I've been trying to lose the "last 15 pounds" for years two years. Before that, I was pregnant for about two years. And before that, I'd been trying to lose those same pounds for nearly four years. I'd also like to get more organized, be a more intentional and creative mother, read my Bible more, and stay on top of the housework. But I totally lack the discipline to do any of that. I really think the "last 15 pounds" are more a symptom of that lack of discipline than anything. And I hate that more than the pounds themselves.
I grew up in a pretty disciplined household. We got up on time, ate on time, ate healthfully, went to church three times a week, and did chores. My mom was an awesome housekeeper, and my dad did not put up with misbehavior. I was bred to be a stay-at-home-mom, and I was given the tools to do this job well. I should know how to be a more disciplined person, right?
But, oh, how I love the creative. I love to daydream and make imaginary decorating plans and sing every song in my Broadway repertoire. The beauty of my job as a SAHM is that I get to decorate and cook and play dress-up and Legos and sing songs from Wicked with a daughter who loves the music almost as much as I do. I could start off dusting the keyboard in the office and get side-tracked by a piece of music and spend the rest of the afternoon learning it...hypothetically. Or I might be picking up Legos and have this brilliant idea for a ship that looks just like the one on Star Wars and dump out all the pieces I'd just picked up to find a particular piece to finish off said ship. Or I might be in the middle of taking measurements for a particular window treatment, and get this epiphany about how I could actually make the built-ins next to the fireplace work, and spend an hour googling the instructions for the perfect built-in bookcases. Or I might just get so caught up in a song on KLOVE that I can't resist picking up one of the boys to dance (oh, how I love to dance). Not that I've done any of those things today...or ever.
And then if I HAD done any of those crazy things, I would spend the evening kicking myself for not having the discipline to pass up that piece of music or those Legos or Google or the dancing and finish the task I'd started. And then I'll tell myself that I can always dust the office tomorrow.
But tomorrow never comes, and you could probably write your name in the dust of any given piece of furniture in that office.
The thing is that I really love the part of me that loves to dance. I love the part of me that knows how to create and sing and laugh. I want to be that mother that exudes joy and tells jokes and has a contagious spirit.
But I want to do it 15 pounds lighter in a clean house after I've read my Bible for the day.
In short, I want to be perfect.
But I know that, like tomorrow, perfect never comes. So I guess I'll settle for being MORE perfect than I was yesterday.
Recently, a mentor and friend of mine suggested that I divide my time into Martha and Mary moments. What an amazing idea. I really believe that the Martha moments are necessary, but the Mary moments are what life is made of.
So my intention in starting this blog is to begin logging my Martha and Mary moments, and in so doing, have some sort of accountability. I believe that accountability is the key to spiritual growth, so I aim to list here my Martha goals for each day, knowing that when the Martha stuff gets done, the Mary moments are so much sweeter.
I'm asking the Lord to make me more obedient and disciplined. I know, crazy, right? Who asks for stuff like that? Don't we all know how dangerous that is?
But somehow, I just know that even though it's likely to be a little painful, this little discipline dance will be an amazing way that God will mold me into the woman He designed me to be.
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